Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. HAHAHAHAH

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris ordered a big mac at burger king, and he got it.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.